14 Dec

It seems like at the point when almost everything is going right…I can’t even enjoy it because at this point I’m drained. It almost feels like the calm before the storm. Or waiting so long for something that when it comes you no longer crave it. Idk it’s just not as enjoyable as I would have liked it to…I think it’s my brain saying my work is not done, there is so much left to be done. But my feelings are drained. I feel that with dealing with people you just have to take them how they come. Not necessarily a great thing but not bad either, my expectations have lessened but not my standards. So I find myself in this idc bubble anymore bc everything happens so unexpectedly you can not prepare for life anymore! As far as working hard for friendships, corporate America, love, etc is starting to seem very irrelevant and all that matters to me is the growth of SELF AND FAMILY. Right now where I ONLY HAVE TO think of myself makes me more prone to changes. And that’s what I would like to see. Yes my life is drama less right now…but it feels stagnant. I rather move forward through good & bad experiences that will take me to a million good places than to be at a standstill in one good place. That’s just me though.

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